This is probably going to be a kind of weird and longwinded post, and I’m not really sure how to word this so hopefully, it works.
Since I’ve been working from home full time (like for real, full time, not “COVID full time” where it was billed as temporary and there was a plan to go back to the office) I’ve really struggled with what to wear, during the workday and well, any day.
When I worked in an office, I pretty much bought clothing based on the possibility that I could also wear it to work. As a result, I have a lot of sort of modest dresses that could be dressed up or down, sweaters that could look like workwear depending on the bottoms they’re worn with, and practical, but honestly not at all stylish shoes.
Now that I work from home full time, I’ve had a hard time figuring out what to wear “to work.” Isn’t that weird? Before when I worked in an office, I was always buying random things that could be added to my work wardrobe, and now…I don’t want to wear those.
I started pulling the majority of these clothes out of my closet when I realized I wasn’t wearing them now that I work from home full time, my clothing situation is a mess. I’m not wearing my old workwear, and otherwise, I honestly do not have a ton of clothes.
In my last apartment, we dealt with a flood and I lost a bunch of clothes to that, and I haven’t really been that into my own personal fashion since…I don’t know when. I’ve always enjoyed fashion, but I don’t know my own style at all. I think in high school, when I assume one starts to figure this stuff out, fashion was a scary word to anyone over a size 10 and as a result I never got into it.
A lot has changed on that front since I was a teenager, but in my head I think I still assume that I don’t have options when it comes to actually choosing clothes I like. Things are so different now, but subconsciously I think my brain is acting like I’m still 15 searching for a dress for a school dance and literally purchasing the only one the store had in my size.
Those experiences combined with my logic of “buy things you will also wear to work” has led to my current wardrobe being not-so-great, and it means that I don’t even really know what I like. I feel like I don’t know how to style the pieces I have that I do actually really like, and I don’t know what I like on my body.
Even beyond high school, for so long I felt like there were certain types of clothing that I just couldn’t wear. Whether it be that my chest wouldn’t fit regardless of the size, or that I just shouldn’t wear something because I’d never find the right bra for it or my thighs would rub together or something…but now I’m just over it.
There are so many more clothing options available now, that I really don’t have the traumatic time shopping that I used to. And where I’m working from home now, I have full control over my wardrobe in a way I’ve never felt before.
Like I said, this was going to be really longwinded and weird, but I guess this is my 500+ word way of saying that I’m going to start going through every piece of clothing I have, figuring out how to style it, if I even like it enough to keep it or if I should donate it, and just generally learning about what I actually like on my body.
I think I’m going to do this by wearing something different every day, taking a picture, and talking it out, and maybe I’ll make it a weekly blog post. Along the way, I’m hoping I’ll figure out not only what to get rid of, but what I should try for new looks, and I think I’ll just finally learn what I like and maybe come out of this with some actual personal style.
That’s really it, but I just wanted to add one more quick note– I used to be really angsty about stores not carrying things in my size when I was younger and the struggle to find clothes that fit me. Things have improved so much on that front, and really I can’t complain too much because I can fit in both straight sizes and plus sizes now since I’m in that overlapping size range. For people bigger than me though, that isn’t the case and the struggle is still incredibly difficult.
I don’t really know what to do about that, except note that I’m still angry even if it isn’t directly affecting me because I know how much it sucks. I guess if this takes off somehow and a brand reaches out to me or something I’d push for it, but in the meantime, it’s just something I think people need to be aware of, and maybe use that knowledge as a basis for supporting stores that are trying to become more size-inclusive.
Ok, I think that’s really it now. Stay tuned for some outfit posts coming soon!